Community Buzz

Last week, Karen and I had the pleasure of accepting an invitation to join a Henna party for one of our former Shinshinim, Yuval Derry, and his future wife in Tel Aviv. The pre-wedding celebration is a tradition in Sephardic and Mizrahi Jewish communities and it was wonderful to witness the Yemenite and Moroccan heritage celebrated with appropriate music, dancing and attire. Yuval was just one of six former Shimshimin who have been part of the Beth David family over the past 15 years and with whom we spent some time over a brief three day visit to Israel. Hopefully some of the names will be familiar to you—Amarel Gofer, Maor Cohen, Tamar Tzohari, Uri Kol and Amit Weisberg. Many of our former Shinshinim have completed their army service, but several have been called back to temporarily serve in various capacities and roles, fulfilling their ongoing duty to the State of Israel.  All expressed their hopes for the return of the hostages, the success of the army’s mission, the safety of the IDF soldiers and citizens of Israel, as well as their best wishes for our collective future, recognizing how much they learned about themselves and the diaspora during their “gap year” in Canada. We assured them, as part of the Beth David family, we continue to think about them and their important commitment to Israel.

On the subject of family, Kemi Badenoch is the new leader of the Conservative Party in the U.K. The party were heavily defeated in the recent election, the leader Rishi Sunak stepped down, and Badenoch, with a strong immigrant family upbringing, and considered very much an outsider, surprised many by being voted in by eligible electors. Apparently before the last election, the bickering and infighting within the party hastened their defeat, so it was not surprising that in taking over, Badenoch described the party as her “family” and said that it is “much more to me than a membership organisation.” Family, in politics, is an interesting term to use, and differences of opinion can be healthy and valuable if aired in a constructive way. The art of any leader, and task of any group, family or community, is to encourage all points of view, to discuss options and to achieve consensus, which at the end of the day, can keep the family united in purpose. It will be interesting to follow Badenoch’s progress to discern what “family” ingredients did, or did not, achieve different outcomes.

Last week’s Buzz took my mind a long way back to a theory called the “Diffusion of Responsibility.” The simple premise is that when people are in a group, they may assume that others will act, so they don't feel the need to take action themselves. This can lead to a decrease in the sense of personal responsibility and a reduced tendency to help. Unfortunately, by defaulting to others, and if things go wrong, it is easy to blame thoughtlessly, when ironically they themselves could have changed the outcome. So please, in the context of our appeal for volunteers, if you can help, please have a conversation with Gary, Janice or Ken. Likewise, in the context of Michael Rubin’s message in the Shabbat Shalom regarding the discontinuance of some of those daily minyanim, perhaps it has relevancy here too.

Election misery or euphoria, and everything in between - the majority has spoken. Overwhelming now are the viewpoints of pundits rationalizing why the U.S. election result happened. **It is very likely most people who follow the news have a preferred source/s, and perhaps many understand how their bias, and the bias of the information source, determines their interpretation of reality. Was it so long ago that we chose one primary daily newspaper and one T.V. station to follow? One obvious factor, regardless of being red or blue, is the breadth of communication channels now available and being consumed by the population. Scott Galloway noted “almost half of adult Americans, 136 million people, listen to at least one podcast a month. The three biggest media events of this fall were the presidential debate and Harris and Trump’s respective appearances on Call Her Daddy and The Joe Rogan Experience.” The global audience for podcasts is now 505 million. Given this immense number, Galloway believes that “we have transitioned from a fossil-fuel-based economy to an attention economy, full stop. Reflected in the stock market, “if you command attention, revenue will follow.” As it is now evident, “podcasting” had a huge influence on this election and for certain demographics it is only likely to increase. Is it inconceivable that for these demographics, religious institutions will need to podcast the weekly sermon, (available at any time, 7 days a week/24 hours a day) to gain their attention?

For something completely different, have you ever heard someone say “you are so lucky.” Many years ago, Max Gunther tried to analyze why luck seemed to play a part in some lives and not others. One factor was how wide a network of friends and acquaintances people enjoyed. Those who have made the effort to have a broad set of contacts tended to be the luckiest. We all know having friends is an intentional two-way exchange of information and advice and takes effort. Other factors include going with hunches, being willing to be bold sometimes, and on the other side of the coin, getting out of a deteriorating situation quickly before your luck goes bad. Mitchell’s law reminds us, life is like a slippery piece of soap; if you think you have a good grip on it, you are wrong. Lucky people never go into a situation without knowing what they will do if, or when, it goes wrong. Perhaps Roman philosopher Seneca said it best, “luck is what happens when preparation meets opportunity.” In other words, we make our own luck.

Once upon a time, Charles Darwin said,” a man who dares to waste one hour of time has not discovered the value of life.” Today we might say, “if you don’t slow down, you are going to run yourself into the ground” or “take time to smell the roses.” Taking control, to find the middle ground of cherishing the time we have at 50 miles per hour, is today’s challenge.

There’s an expression “a way to a man’s heart is through his stomach.” Top chefs go one step further – “the way to every person's heart is through their stomach.” Our shinshiniot have come up with a really fabulous program that combines our love and appreciation of food with a way to keep the plights of the hostages in the forefront of our minds. On Wednesday November 20^th at 6:00p.m.,and two weeks later, on December 4th at 6 pm, Noya and Hila  will be preparing, with you, favourite meals of some of the hostages and sharing the hostages’ individual stories. This is a unique way to honour those still being held in the terror tunnels of Gaza. Please come out to support our Shinshiniot in this very meaningful way.

During the Simhat Torah service large numbers of our members took advantage of the opportunity to have an Aliyah. Another tradition during this service are the honors of Hatan Torah, the last aliyah of the book of Deuteronomy; and Kallat Breishit, the first aliyah in Genesis. This affords us the opportunity to recognize significant contributors to our shul community; it was very appropriate to, this year, bestow these honours on Celia and Leonard Golberg, and on Rosalie & Avram Selick. If you haven’t had the opportunity yet, we encourage you to express your appreciation for their loyalty, devotion and efforts on behalf of the synagogue.  It was Helen Keller who reminded us that “alone, we can do so little; together, we can do so much.” A very heartfelt thank you to these members, and many others, who lead the way.

It is hard not to be influenced by fearmongering these days. It is rife south of the border and it can naturally lead to feelings of pessimism and declinism. But this is not new. As far back as 1922 T.S. Eliot posed the question whether “a civilisation that has been intellectually, emotionally and spiritually corrupted is capable of redemption.” Our southern neighbours are about to make some decisions about their future, but what about our future? At Simhat Torah, we learn that Moses’ time has come and Joshua is being charged with leadership for a new beginning; the Lord urges Joshua to move forward as a man of action and contemplation. Genesis is a time of creation, and as we read about new beginnings, we have our own road map to follow of action with piety. It’s been said,” either you control your destiny, or your destiny will control you.” The choice is clearly ours.

It is not uncommon for consultants to take an established business practice, make a tweak or two, and rename it. Relational Investor is a new term and is a variation on what is commonly known as networking i.e. the process of making connections and building relationships that can sometimes provide career advice and contacts. Apparently, in 2014, researchers including the University of Toronto, discovered that when people built relationships for selfish pursuits it left them feeling psychologically dirty. They were “takers,” with little intent to build that relationship. Contrast that with a paradigm shift in thinking and the term Relational Investor. Daniel Hallak, who introduced this term, suggests it's not a self-serving transaction, extracting value; rather it’s about building meaningful, generous and mutually beneficial relationships, looking for ways to serve other people, even if they are the ones who are helping you. Perhaps it underscores that any flourishing relationship is built from what I can give, not what I can get.

We are looking for 2 host families for Hila and Noya, our lovely Shinshiniot. The hosting period is from the end of January until mid-June when the Shinshiniot leave for overnight summer camp. Hosting a Shinshin is a truly wonderful opportunity and experience. Empty nesters are also welcome to apply. For more information, please contact Karen Bernstein at karen@karian.ca 

Thank you to all those who have reached out with clothing/boots for Hila and Noya who are in our community care. Your kindness is very much appreciated.

It was difficult not to notice the number of women participating in our High Holiday services, which as an egalitarian synagogue, Beth David is rightfully proud. Contrast this to a recent McKinsey study with a headlined title: Women in the Workplace:  Parity for all women is almost 50 years away.” Albeit the study was based on corporate workplaces, the authors remarked, ‘if one thing is clear, it’s that deep, systemic change—which requires reshaping people’s mindsets and behaviors—is hard to achieve and does not follow a linear path.” Thanks to our insightful clergy team, women in our congregation have for a long time regularly stepped-up to make meaningful contributions to our services.
 
Regular recipients of Rabbi Jonathan Sacks teachings may have recently read: “Jews have never needed wealth to be rich, or power to be strong. To be a Jew is to live for simple things: the love between husband and wife, the sacred bond between parents and children, the gift of community where we help others and others help us and where we learn that joy is doubled and grief halved by being shared. It is to learn and never stop seeking, to pray and never stop thanking, to do teshuva and never stop growing. In this lies the secret of joy.”

It’s not so long ago that a corporate career was often built on securing a university degree and “paying one’s dues.” So it might be a surprise to some that a Fast Company article states that 6 out of 10 companies surveyed have recently terminated Gen Z’ers (born between 1997 and 2012) and some are now even hesitant to hire university students. So why is this? The suggestion is that Gen Z’ers, in all aspects of their lives, have been encouraged to be their best, most authentic selves, and they see it as a right, to be exactly who they want to be and live how they want to live in every space they occupy. They don’t want to be bossed around, rather they want to be empowered and inspired. But Gen Z’ers also possess productive attributes like kindness and generosity, so the challenge for companies, and perhaps synagogues too, is finding the middle ground to effectively engage them.

Tobias Lutke, co-founded a company in Ottawa twenty years ago, that grew to become an incredibly successful $9.5%-billion company today.  That company is Shopify Inc, which sells its e-commerce products in more than 170 countries today. Lutke has said, “ratcheting up ambition for a project is something that one has to do in a company in Canada.” He suggests ambition doesn’t come naturally to Canadians, and stunted ambition is a deficiency which inhibits potential success. Is it possible a lack of ambition not only impacts corporations, but synagogues too?

Of the many interesting comments made by Michael Kerzner, Solicitor General of Ontario & MPP for York Centre, inclusivity was a key theme in his derasha and the Q&A period after the kiddish. As the only Jew in the current Ontario legislature and in a time of increased antisemitism, there is little doubting his commitment to his Jewish roots, but he reiterated that in his day-to-day dealings across the province, he is dedicated to fairness for all Ontarians. This inclusivity intertwines with Michael Rubin’s message that as the Children of Israel were about to enter the Promised Land, it’s success would be “a multi-generational endeavour, one that relies on the efforts and dedication of those from all gender identities, professions, and tribal background.” Embracing diversity based upon common purpose and values is a worthy ideal to strive for.      
 
As part of our outstanding clergy team, many of you know that Michael Rubin has been our longstanding Ritual Director since 2004 (now known as Director of Engagement, Education & Ritual). Michael’s roots run deep in Beth David since his parents were active members in the early years of our existence. He has a varied career both in Canada, but also many years in Israel. A fuller description of his experiences appear on our website. One of Michael’s greatest pleasures is sharing what he has learned in his life and a proud record of teaching about 350 students over those 20 years as they prepare for adulthood.

Remember the 3R’s from the Reflection & Renewal program?Reflection (in the story told, the Rabbi accepted that he wasn’t perfect), Repentance (acknowledging our failings and wanting to change), and Renewal (committing the energy to be better going forward). 
 
This week we’ll participate in the Yizkor service and our minds will focus on the memories of those we have loved and cherished in our lives. Rabbi Jordan reminded us recently that even though those lives have since passed, all those things we cherished in them can actually come alive in our hearts and minds if we focus on those virtues and try to emulate them. Just as all the memorial lights will be turned on, may those virtues also shine in us too.