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The Holiness of Error!
It is so refreshing and encouraging to know how much potential there is for sinners, whether accidental or intentional, in our Biblical tradition. We are often put off by the scripted severity of penalties for idol worship and profanation of God’s name, as well as for the more social-oriented transgressions such as murder and sexual abomination. However, the overall approach to misdeeds is one with an abundance of forgiveness.
In Parashat Tzav, we read of the duties of the Kohanim in implementing a variety of sacrifices, including those for unintentional and intentional sinful acts – Hattat and Asham. One of the phrases associated with these offerings is Kodesh Kadahsim – most holy. We often associate this phrase with the section of the Mishkan and later temple – the Holy of Holies – a place so unique and sacred that only the Kohen Gadol would enter on Yom Kippur for the ultimate act of repentance.
Why would this be used for even the most banal of sins / errors committed by the individual? The Eitz Haim commentator suggests that “a greater degree of holiness is ascribed to the person who has struggled with sin and overcome it than to the person who never has been tempted.” One might see this as prescribing placing oneself, with whatever regularity, in situations of temptation to act as one should not, but thus to be offered the opportunity to experience that struggle, as well as the potential for growth through recovery from, and repentance for the act.
That is an overly generous and forgiving interpretation. I might presume to compare it to a discussion I often have with my B’nai Mitzvah students shortly before their big day. Many of them are fearful of the potential for mistakes. What do they do If they forget some of the trope, or sing the wrong accent, or even blackout for a moment. I suggest to them that this is natural, as are mistakes. I also occasionally make mistakes when reading and that is why I have the support of Gabaim to help me out on those occasions.
I relate to them a story of a student I worked with many years ago who was so committed and dedicated to diligently preparing everything perfectly to ensure that he would do so on the day of his celebration. I had given him the same pep talk on the chance that something happens and how we would manage such a situation, with my support. He assured me he would not require such help as he was fully ready for the day.
He came up to the Torah reading table that Shabbat morning, having taken on the reading of no small portion of the Parashah – I would love to say it was Parashat Tzav but, alas, no. He read the first 3 of 4 Aliyot at a perfect pace, with growing confidence, and beautifully. Somewhere in the middle of the final Aliyah, he mispronounced a word. I admit to hesitating for a moment about correcting him as I feared how he would cope with this unfamiliar and fully unexpected occurrence. I overcame that deliberation in a sufficiently timely manner, put out my hand, as I had indicated I would, and offered the corrected word with trope. He looked up at me with a surprised and anxious look on his face, not aware of having made that mistake. Always one to enjoy those silent moments and give someone the benefit of the doubt, I said nothing more. After what must have been an awkward pause of silence for the congregation – around 5 seconds – he looked back down at the Sefer Torah and flawlessly completed the Torah reading and Haftarah.
When I offered my charge to the Bar Mitzvah, I suggested to him that the best thing he may have done that day was to mispronounce that word in the Torah, because we can’t spend our lives excessively obsessed with avoiding mistakes but, rather, equip ourselves with the tools and supports to cope with those mistakes that will inevitably occur. His ability to acknowledge the error and move on, is a template for success.
The Torah provides us with what seems like an obsolete template for such in our lives as individuals and as members of community. We may have ways of responding to error and sin other than the Hattat and Asham offerings, but the process of recognizing, admitting, acknowledging, and responding to our errors and misdeeds, in a supportive environment is a magnificent lesson and probably as holy as it gets.
Shabbat Shalom,
Michael Rubin
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