Hayei Sarah
How Do We Belong?
One of the qualities we often attribute to Avraham is an ability and skill in his interactions with others during his lifetime in his wanderings in and out of Cana’an; negotiating the fine line between acknowledging his real status as an outsider and the modest attempt to assert the future status of his progeny as inheritors of the Promised Land. These dynamics and social relations are considered among the 10 trials our sages ascribe to Avraham facing as part of his developing identity and as national progenitor.
Admittedly, our first patriarch maneuvers his way through some challenging situations – the ‘misunderstandings’ about his wife with both Pharaoh and Avimelech, the military campaign to free his nephew, Lot. Yet I find his dealings with two local chieftains to be more than revealing. In Parashat Lech Lecha, following the successful battle against the four kings, the king of Sodom approaches Avraham, offering him booty. Avraham replies in a well-known Biblical phrase,
אִם־מִחוּט֙ וְעַ֣ד שְׂרֽוֹךְ־נַ֔עַל וְאִם־אֶקַּ֖ח מִכׇּל־אֲשֶׁר־לָ֑ךְ וְלֹ֣א תֹאמַ֔ר אֲנִ֖י הֶעֱשַׁ֥רְתִּי אֶת־אבְרָֽם׃
I will not take so much as a thread or a sandal strap of what is yours; you shall not say, ‘It is I who made Abram rich.’
Of course, as suggested by scholars, Avram wants nothing to do materially with Sodom, possibly in acknowledgement of the evil transpiring there, as we will learn of later, and despite his attempts to lobby on their behalf to God when the intent to destroy that city and neighbouring Gomorrah is revealed.
But is it just that? When we view the dealing with the local Hittites at the beginning of Hayei Sarah, we would conclude there is something even more fundamental at play. As Avraham seeks a fitting place to bury Sarah, he humbly insists publicly during the negotiations with Efron that he pay the full price for the site, rather than accept it as a gift, as offered by the son of Zohar, if only facetiously.
וַיְדַבֵּ֨ר אֶל־עֶפְר֜וֹן בְּאׇזְנֵ֤י עַם־הָאָ֙רֶץ֙ לֵאמֹ֔ר אַ֛ךְ אִם־אַתָּ֥ה ל֖וּ שְׁמָעֵ֑נִי נָתַ֜תִּי כֶּ֤סֶף הַשָּׂדֶה֙ קַ֣ח מִמֶּ֔נִּי
וְאֶקְבְּרָ֥ה אֶת־מֵתִ֖י שָֽׁמָּה
and he spoke to Ephron in the hearing of the landowning citizens, saying, “If only you would hear me out! Let me pay the price of the land; accept it from me, that I may bury my dead there.”
Why does Avraham seem so insistent on remaining independent of the local people? Is it to appear as a self-made person or, more traditionally, to claim that it was God who has brought about his success rather than the current residents of Cana’an? (We know that despite the presence of occasional righteous and ethical individuals, those Cana’anites, Hittites and several other nations will be replaced by the Israelites generations later as per the covenant of God with Abraham, and due to their idolatry and abhorrent practices.) Is it in order, as in the case of Me’arat HaMachpelah, to lay a legal claim to the land based on a witnessed official transaction?
That may all make sense as part of a traditional understanding of our destined role in the world and specifically our legitimate place in the land promised to us. But is that intentional distancing - the inclination not to remain indebted to those peoples - one which, with our contemporary sensitivities, promote a mutuality based on acknowledgement and respect? Or is it more like an initial expression of manifest destiny and disregard for the potential of co-existence with those who might be our neighbours?
Certainly, the arrival in a new land as either immigrant or possible conqueror entails the challenge of maintaining a distinct identity, one through which we feel pride and confidence. At the same time, very few civilizations have survived or sustained themselves without finding the correct balance between valuing their own traditions and acknowledging what in other cultures can be meaningful and appropriately consistent with their own, Jews included.
The humility of ambiguity and inclusiveness in Avraham’s statement that he might be both “ger v’toshav” - stranger and resident – while having the anticipation of owner or somewhat anachronistically, citizen, at least in the back of his mind, might be a safe and effective way to at least initially consider our status in any place. However, we also need to have the confidence and courage to explore more productive, sustainable and courageous interaction with our fellow Jews and non-Jews alike.
Shabbat Shalom,
Michael Rubin
